THIS IS A RANT. The lack of punctuation is intentional!
Yesterday in class there was a lot of jest about confidence and ego (in good fun), and this morning I again read about a friend receiving such unfair judgements for simply putting herself out there online and having a go at the things she loves. It has brought my own confidence and ego into view. I realised I'm charging far too little for my makeup services and perhaps been a little too humble about the talents I have. I've been way to quiet about my blog and channel too, sharing it mostly through my Facebook business page (which we all know doesn't get much traction unless it's boosted, been around forever, or has a piece of content that's gone viral in some way). Most of my closest friends have never even seen one of my videos. I've not directly told people what I'm doing for fear I'd get in trouble... (from who? for what?) not so much for what they'd think. I was worried about 'doing it right!' Who gets to say if something is right or not anyway unless it's a law??! Umm, me, that's who. (Btw, I'm reminded of exactly where this program came from... now I can address it and shift it for good!) It's so interesting...although it took me years to 'own' calling myself an artist, I now don't give two shits what anyone thinks about my art, because sometimes I love it and sometimes I don't - but sometimes even the work I think is the worst sells first. So I've learnt that art is art if you say it is. You, and you and you. And me. And so shouldn't your life's work be the same? So why hold back sharing your gifts with the world? Your joy? Why not celebrate your life if you want to? Why the hell not? Honestly! The world needs more joy. So why judge so harshly? Yourself... or that girl putting herself out there for who she's always been. You don't know that she's got talents and thoughts and history that you can't see in one picture or gather from one video.
I choose to no longer hold myself back 'to be nice.' Compassionate confidence says yes to self-love, self-worth, and my biggest dreams, even when they are different or misunderstood by others. I have all the permission I need to rise!
Judging even one year of someone's life is like reading the jacket of a book and thinking you know the whole story. Take this photo for example: So what if there's glitter on my eyelash and the bags under my eyes may never go away? So what if I'm not as 'good as' (prettier/skinnier/funnier/as popular) as that girl who has 10,000 followers? So what if I actually would love 10,000 followers? Really... so what? I refuse to catch that disease, I'm washing it away! That disease where society gets to judge how big you dream or why you dream that dream at all. I do my life for me. I share it for those who want or need my views, experiences, stories, whatever, for whatever reason. I share to build a tribe... because of course I want to be loved and known and feel at home with a cool group of people. I want to be inspired BY them as much as I'd hope to inspire them. I'm pursing something bigger than myself and my own life, my own success, my own current knowledge - always. I find that invigorating and freeing and SO fun! Our playing small serves no-one. You don't have to want that. But you've seen it done before, you're probably even part of a tribe yourself - be it family, sport, GOT fans, politically or spiritually. Stop knocking people who just wanna take charge and build their own. Not everyone who takes a gulp and creates something is rolling in ego. (Btw, how bout we all get over the idea that selfies are egotistical and accept that a happy photo of yourself usually gets the most love from others because they see you celebrating your life... and secretly they just want permission to do the same!) And, for the record, (well done if you've gotten this far) so what if you perceive someone's ego is bigger than yours? So what if they use theirs to survive for whatever reason? As long as it's not hurting you, it might be healthy for them considering where THEY have been or what they have been through... it might be what they need in the world right now. Who cares? You just do you. And for JOYs sake... give compliments freely.... accept them graciously... and take a look at what's holding back your happiness and the things you are dying to do. Do them. Before they become actual bucket list items that mightn't ever get to be experienced, expressed or enjoyed.
LIFE AFFIRMATIONS is a series of rants and ramblings triggered by questioning 'accepted' behaviours, ideals and cliched statements that are often nothing more than eargasms and outdated programs. They are my own opinions in those fleeting first moments of tossing the idea around and discovering how I can take it's essence, modernise it, and make it my own. And so yes, my opinions can and do change. I am a human being, not a human machine. I share these to encourage you to question situations or beliefs in your existence that may not be serving you. My wish is that you will share your breakthroughs, share these messages, and help me in creating a domino effect of empowered thinkers and happier people. However, if you feel the need to hate, this disclaimer of my humanity...of my thoughts, shared on my blog....is directed at you.