Dangerous the things that stick in your head...Dangerous the words you spit out without thinking.
I haven't worn yellow in so long because 'off the cuff' someone decided to 'compliment' what I was wearing by comparing it "better than that ugly yellow thing you were wearing last week."
I was gobsmacked. I 'shouldn't' have been, as this was the same person who called me up on a Saturday night to tell me her and another woman (both several decades my senior) were "just talking about the way you pose in your pictures and how wrong you've got it!”
Yep. F*king middle of the night unsolicited advice on my appearance. And there's been more....we all have a story like this.
I've got thick skin and I'm an empath. Oxymoron? No. I felt that sting deeper than I desired to, but I always choose to dismiss such comments as stupidity, forget, and move on with more important things. I've done enough work on myself to know who I am and what I'm about and I keep doing the work to keep growing my resilience and self awareness.
"Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder,
to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble."
- Yehuda Berg
People can be shit. People can say silly things. Some people, like these two women, have such personal blockages of their own that they cannot read others. We all get it directed at us without notice, but it's how we hold it. And we all do it, but it's how we handle it once it's said.
A few weeks ago I had a girl's dinner and asked a group question that upon driving home I realised was not in fact kind to ask in front of one friend that it absolutely did not apply to. I immediately got on the phone to apologise for my lack of tact and thoughtfulness, reassure her I'm in her court, and send her love. I felt like a right jerk, yet she had the grace to say she knew I meant no harm.
The point is, we are all human, and all these words in inverted commas can be poor choices of words or the avoidance of meaning what you say and saying what you mean.
So choose carefully. Ask yourself if that's a necessary thing to say. Have the grace to read other people and adjust your behaviour accordingly. Apologise genuinely if you've made a mistake. And develop healthy ways to feel good regardless...coz being you is AWESOME! JUST. THE. WAY. YOU. ARE. 💛
"Words are seeds that do more than blow around. They land in our hearts and not the ground. Be careful what you plant and careful what you say. You might have to eat what you planted one day."