So you've found yourself in a place where it feels like everything you once thought was forever is crumbling around you, it feels a little darker each day, and hope is wearing thin? It's no longer just a bad day or a rough patch, it's swallowing up weeks and even months, breaking down years of time and effort you put into love, relationships, career and goals.
You can feel every millimeter of your heart breaking inside your tight chest as you force a smile and attempt to shake it all off in the shower, the gym, or the bottom of a bottle at 2am. Who even are you and wtf is happening?!
This, my friend, is your dark night of the soul...and you are becoming all brand new.
THIS IS YOUR TOWER MOMENT
Call it what you will, if you're in the thick of it, it can absolutely feel like a certain kind of hell and there's no one way to experience it or heal through it either. Yours will be your own story, your own undoing, and your own rewiring. And I won't sit here with my hindsight and say 'but there's lessons in the pain,' but I will say it won't last forever and it will get better. In fact, better than better.
You're having an ego death of the self so that everything not meant for you - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually - can be rebirthed into that which will fit the you you are becoming through this process.
Transmuting this energy into something that resembles growth can be like drawing blood I know, but maybe, just maybe, some understanding why it's happening and how another got through it might help you feel a little less naked and afraid!
Btw, if everything in this post triggers TF out of you right now, it's ok... just bookmark it to come back to after screaming into the abyss, I'll wait. 😉
SURRENDERING & DETANGLING
detangling the mess - it's ok to be messy - it's almost guaranteed to be, because it will rock your foundations so naturally, your ego wish for perfection will get tousled
unraveling, come undone sweater song
cord cutting the karmic ties
and suddenly seemingly losing everything but realising you've gained freedom
finding the light only to tumble back into a dark hole - the holes get smaller, more shallow, better lit...and soon enough you realise you simply stomped into a puddle so you may as well dance in the rain. all the metaphors and lyrical anecdotes in music and movies start to make so much more sense when you have lived experience behind them.
surrender, honour, hope - what do they all mean...and why do so many people skip the hit you in the face terminology like discipline to NOT GO BACK to the people, places, things that harm us, and planning to ALLOW time for surrender and self care in a modern world. terminology traps can hinder you and dare i say, weaken your will. Sometimes you have to lock yourself in and shut the back door to make change stick
“It is only when we are truly alone without someone else to lean on; left with our own inner solitude that we can undergo a real process of change. The introspection that is needed to bring out the light that has dwindled down to ash and reignite the fire of our being. So let the darkness shape you, let it reform you, let it cradle you and birth you into a new life; a new way of being. Let the spark flame again, in the darkness is where you will find it.”
― L.J. Vanier
EGO VS INTUITION
feel into your body and see outside of yourself too - fine line bewteen hearing your ego, your intuititon, spirits guidance and knowing when to trust what. synchronisitisies and signs can be decoys if you are out of alignment
“The dark sky helps to see the stars... The dark night of the soul helps us to see the light within.”
― Bert McCoy
emerge to a healthier place
becoming a spiritual badass or a spirited badass!
you don't have to do anything *extra* to be spiritual, because you already ARE, you're a spiritual being having a very real human experience.
can bring about more awakenings, some a little more pleasurable in their pain
