Sometimes processing pain becomes poetry...here's some more of mine
~ alchemized by the shadow work we all have to do x
that calm after the calamity, girl, get used to it.
curl your toes into the sands of solo softness.
hold too tightly to nothing and nowhere.
fill your dreams once again with daring discipline
for self, solice and success on your terms.
do not build for him, burn for him,
or crucify your beauty as the missing bit for brashy behaviour.
and please, please, your knowing all along informs your intuition,
it does not falsify feelings as foolish.
you will know love absolute, and then you will know this was anything but.
TRUST IS A DOING WORD
You were whisky in a teacup
And now I'm the alcoholic
Coming down off you like an eagle falling from grace
I sway between numb and undone
The bones around my eyes ache
Crying into the food I can't stomach and wine once hidden from you
Your taste on my tongue
And the texts I can't delete
I'm slipping from my self sanity trying to forget your sun
I'm lucid dreaming
All that you did and didn't do
That black eyed rip at the cavity of my chest intensely visceral
I hate that I love you now
More missable than ever before
But time is seemingly yours to waste for the weekend
And here we are once again bent
....or maybe just me somehow....
Coz that one change that could've cured us still lies empty on the floor
Bittersweet it is, that moment your mindset shifts in strength and your vision widens,
how the delicious breadcrumbs of yesterday fall to the ground as stale options now inedible...
You'll break your own heart in that growth.
You'll cast trying men overboard who showed signs of reciprocity too little too late.
You'll fill empty nights with bright device lights and toil towards new heights.
For at a new level of life you reason an honourable soul awaits, the sum of all the pros lists in everyone you've met before and more. It's not saving you need anymore you know. It's still company of course,
but it's more
that you are finally willing to walk forlorn,
a road very less travelled seeking a mystery match unto a unicorn.
To Know Yours
That I can experience such a depth of emotion and hold it in limbo for so long - even after such short a time together
- isn't that alone something to be honoured, to be awed?!
To be hanging upside down and yet still manage to smile and move myself forward
- slowly, but still forward.
Against all odds, slander, past wounds, and well meaning advice.
Faithful. Patient. Undeterred.
I did that. And that is not weakness. To trust the quiet knowing of my own intuition.
Wow. I sit in reverence that I have been capable of love like this after holding such high walls around my heart before.
It's here I have found my power.
And the fact that I only want you to know yours speaks directly to that.
That as much as it might be a little death,
I'm willing to fall to the ground without you
if I know you've risen renewed in your happiest, healthiest Emperor energy.
That I know the ground is not my rock bottom but the Universe's pillow for my surrender.
Surrender from what will sadly fade into all but a dream that taught me so much.
That I will make art from the pieces of my broken heart, because mine is a mosaic afterall.
Love is never in vain...for I know for sure, we always have something to gain.
I'm so proud of you...right where you are and for everywhere you are going.
And I'm so grateful for my brave.
Thank you Divine for triggering this growth in us both